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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

From The Mountain To The Ditch

Disclaimer: I'm typing through my tears tonight, please excuse all run-ons, etc... :o/

If you have been following me long enough than you know in my devotionals I have talked a time or two about peaks and valleys. I've speculated that maybe we experience the mountaintop to lessen the blow of the ditch. Today I lived that spectrum.

I started out this morning in a great mood. Leftover positive vibes from tweeting with new online friends, kids pretty well behaving and dinner with some awesome real life friends who we are blessed to live next door to. I had a good day cleaning, baking, fiddling around on the computer. I've got a new dream on the job front and hope to pursue some leads. Life was good!

Best day in a while and not for any special reason, just because. And a just because kind of good mood is the best kind. So when I got some pretty world shattering news (my world, shattering miles away) I was sucker punched. I was angry. I was in pain. I still am. To fall so far so fast took my breath away. Then I thought, "Wow, God, if You hadn't lifted me up first I would have never survived this one."

I know God has a plan. I know that somehow He will hold us together. But I just wanna yell, and cuss, and throw something heavy. But I'm a chicken. I can't even make a decision about going after another dream without a big push. (See my Twitter followers challenge.) So I write. I write because it calms me. I write because I need words. I write because I hope that somewhere, someday someone will read this and it will help them hold their head up.

Thankful for: the power of prayer, need lots of it for my family.
My second thankful: good friends in unexpected places

Lessons Learned:
*I can cry long after I thought I was finished
*I have a great support network in place
*I need to take a trip (somehow) VERY soon
*I may not have a spirit of fear but sometimes I wrestle with it till my knuckles bleed

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