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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Exercise Is Not My Strength

I have a Wii Fit Plus program and sporadically I'll get consistent enough to work out with it on a daily basis. I'll get excited about having more energy. I'll block off a certain every day to exercise. Inevitably, something gets in my way one day. Then I'll use an excuse the next day. By the third day of no exercise I am "too tired" and that becomes a daily reason until I forget to even talk myself out of it anymore.

Writing is exercise for my brain. So is reading. I love to read and I can lose myself in a book so badly I'll forget there are other people in the same room. It's like I enter a different reality and the book becomes my surroundings while my real surroundings fade away. Writing is this euphoria times a thousand for me. I'm, sure every writer goes through their own process but I wonder if it's as extreme as mine or not?

This novel I've written is so real to me I feel like I need to call up Zoe (MC) and ask her out for a cup of coffee so we can chat a bit more about how accurately I am (or maybe I'm not) portraying her life. When I sleep I often dream in snapshots of her story and what other twists it maybe has taken. I wake up wondering if now is the time I should check myself into a mental health facility or if it's just one too many glasses of merlot before bed.

But my ineptitude for consistent exercise carries over into my writing often times. In the past I have gotten consistent on a project (Niki's Thoughts devotional followers are nodding their heads collectively here) and then fallen off into the nether world of too few words and probably too many Law & Order reruns. I am excited to be writing daily on this blog but there's a little nagging voice in the back of my mind asking how long will it last this time?

I've decided to fight that voice by immersing myself into the world of writing as much as possible. I'm connecting with authors and editors in the social media world by following their blogs and twitter feeds. I'm seeking out alone time on the computer so I can type this blog, even if there's no real common theme yet. Most of all, I have admitted to myself something that it has taken me all my nearly 33 years to realize: I am passionate about writing. I may not always have a devotional to share, I may not always have the same topic to blog about, I may tweet serious one day and funny the next but I live to write!

I'm going to fight inconsistency by embracing this new-found love. I'm going to tell the voice in the back of my head that I want this more than I've ever wanted anything for me. Ever. I'll debate away excuses with the passion in my heart and the will to push past the road blocks like never before. And when I feel like I don't have even two words to say then maybe I'll just type one. It's human to stumble, to fall, to wallow. I'm going to lean on God when I'm weak and I'm going to battle my own bad habits with words, oh so many words!!

Lessons Learned:
*If I can quit smoking for the health and well being of my children than I can quit allowing excuses to block my writing journey.
*Not every day is going to be mega productive but I will push to write something every day so I keep exercising my brain.
*It is normal to be discouraged at how long the editing and revising process is going to be, if I want to be a real writer I will push past the urge to rush it because I want to polish my novel so much it shines!
*It is likely I will never become a world famous author but my dream is not fame, it is just to be published.
*Laughing at my own work and how much help it needs keeps me realistic, grounded and smiling!! :o)

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